He was six years old the first time I met him. I remember how much we pitied him. His mismatched clothes and dirty shoes. His antics to get attention and in trouble. We were awed by his ability to turn our kindergarten class on edge and never even seem to care. The principal made a notation in his daily schedule book for a time allowance to see him each day. The teacher was thankful for this time of peace while he was there. We got alot more out of sandbox time and clay sculpting in his absence.
He was born on February 1, 1966. His mom didn't want him, his dad wasn't there. He was left in his crib for days without a diaper change or a bath. He was feed whole grain corn from 3 months of age. The social services removed him from his family and he was placed in the care of the state. A aunt who had lost her only child took him to raise. He was a replacement for the son that she had lost. He would not behave the she wanted him to. He was a free spirit. He desired to be loved for who he was.He wanted a real family that really wanted him.
I was a gawky 13 year old. He was there next to me, this time in reading class. Still trying to get attention... in different ways than before. He ate my pencil eraser. And the boys next to him and the girls on the other side of that boy. He bite his fingernails down until they bled. He acted tough and loud. His classmates made fun of him. They called him names and dared him to do things that they would never do! And he always did them. One day he went to far and a teacher humiliated him in front of all the class by making him bring his desk to the front of the room and sit. He bit the teacher on the ankle and was dragged from the classroom. The next class period the teacher made him wear a dog bone around his neck. he was removed from public schooling and placed in a Christian school. He continued his antics there. He was controlled at home. Never allowed to be by himself. His aunt went to the hairdresser once a week and he went along and at nineteen he still remembers sitting and watching her as she chatted with the lady about all of the problems that he caused them and what should they do about him. He was never spanked and never hugged. He was never commended for anything he did. He was constantly told he shouldn't have been born. The only thing he was taught about God was conditional. Jesus wasn't mentioned. He began to look for acceptance in other ways. Drugs, alcohol, evil imaginings. He embraced satan and all his twisted ways. I moved on and lost track of him completely after that. Someone told me he was sent to prison not long after getting out of high school and his crime was atrocious. He was still looking for acceptance!
Fifteen years later, a note is left on the front door of my brother's house. He is looking for me. Why?! The note says because I was nice to him in the junior high?! I am guilty. This is not so. I avoid the note and throw it in the trash. Out of sight, out of mind!
A cold March Sunday, church service is over and I am confident in my comfort zone. Who is going where for dinner...wasn't that a fine sermon.... hope the message hits those who needed it. Wait a minute... here HE comes down the church aisle with my Dad... Oh my word, this can't be true. What will I say? Panic sets in... How did he get here? Why me Lord?
And so begins a relationship with him. He becomes a part of our family. Why? Because he is dejected and alone. Because he does not know Jesus. Because I am guilty of not being what he thinks I am. Lord, Please forgive. Help me to be like you. It is hard to love him. He struggles with anger, hate, bitterness. We tell him about Jesus. He tells us about prison life. We tell him he has a gift for drawing and painting. He tells us he'll never be good at anything. We pray with him. He buys us gifts. He calls us his family. He gets a job. No one can work with him or won't work with him. He doesn't last long. No one else will hire him. He does odd jobs around our house.
A relationship with Christ seems to be unfolding. He gives his life to Jesus and believes. He wants to be baptized. He can't find a church that will accept him. We tell him the Lord accepts him...just the way he is. He Believes!!!!! He prays continually for us, we feel the power. We pray continually for him, Jesus lifts him up. He demonstrates great strength in areas he never has before. He begins to believe in himself! Satan steps in. He struggles.. we talk... we pray! We begin to try to separate him from us. The parole officers say he must learn to stand alone. But then he has always stood alone... and this is the area that he is most vulnerable. The evil one twists and plays with his mind drawing him farther and farther away from the HOLY ONE. We think he is doing ok
The above was written- August 2006
Sad you say... maybe... the last five years we as a family have visited Chris every month with the exception of a unknowing snowstorm or not being able to get a appointment set because of unavailability. Every meeting has been surrounded by the Word and much Prayer and what the Lord is doing on the inside. In that time we have shipped approximately 30 Bibles via his witness to other inmates as well as correspondence with them on their walk with the Lord. His relationship with the Savior is very much intact (yes, God forgives all sin- not just the ones that are justifiable by man). So then what is it that we have that he does not have?? True he does not have a family to spend time with or friends to socialize with. He does not have money, comforts of living, prestige- a nice car or home. He does not have the freedom to run or walk where he wants to. He does not have human affirmation. But what he does have is a Savior that loves and forgives Him daily! He has the opportunity to witness for Jesus everyday, the freedom to pray, sing, and read the word aloud to all that will hear. And most of all he has Eternal Life. These things... society, abusive parents, fickle friends, cruelty from others and the enemy of God... can NEVER be taken from him. And he can feel Love...True Love...Redeeming Love! When weighed in this light it would seem that whether we are inside or outside the walls of a prison- be it real concrete and morter, or the walls of our own personal heart condition - we can be free only through the saving Grace of our Lord Jesus.
Let's make a vow to pray for those who are incarcerated inside prison walls and those who are incarcerated inside their hearts and souls that they can know the true freedom that comes thru a personal relationship with Jesus Christ the Redeemer!
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